Hi lovely one,
I’m writing this to you from the depths of my studio. It overlooks a neglected garden, into which has recently been planted French lavender, apple trees, and sundry other new creatures. The studio’s small window is bedecked with too-long, white curtains; its walls are a deep purple; and the light fitting looks like the Death Star. Behind me is a vibrant orange vase out of which spills pink and white roses that will never die. The rear wall is covered in pieces of paper containing golden tape, which holds story beats to the wall. And the little Buddhas that used to giggle up and down my window sill now form a fence between the wall and the cables, courtesy of the tiny little man in my life. He’s not allowed near the cables, you see.
Today is a day in which I have some momentous news.
It begins with a little publication I used to send via snail mail, titled The Visible Leader. The last one appeared in subscribers’ lives sometime around August 2021. Unfortunately for those who loved it, I’m sorry to be the bearer of bad news: They’re never going to get another one.
The Visible Leader is a relic of another time. A time in which I was a businesswoman first: well-connected, finger on the pulse of what’s going on in corporate life; deep and impressive knowledge of current practices in my chosen field. It may shock you to read that that, too, was a relic of another time, built from the detritus of other people’s dreams, filled with hand-me-downs and energy that made me yearn for… something else.
Allow me to explain.
The Visible Leader emerged from the company Brutal Pixie, whose name and brand were not created by me. Both were gifts. They were gifted to me by a woman who was my first journalist at Metal as Fuck, a publication created in partnership with a terrifyingly psychopathic, though charming and intelligent man. The man was someone with whom I was in a long-standing, toxic, and damaging co-dependency. The journalist became someone who seemed to be unhappy in her own skin, forever chasing travel and the next intoxicating drug. Neither have been in my life for a long time.
When my little fella came along and I reconnected with myself, I felt how wrong-all-over was Brutal Pixie.
It wasn’t just that the brand didn’t fit me. It was too hard to explain, even after more than 9 years of operation. I became out of step with the market and its needs. I stopped caring about its services. It bored me beyond belief. Even my daily emails became a chore, its offers falling flat for more than a year, its subscribers bailing like rats out of a sinking ship.
Over the past four months I have focused on my art instead. The art of being an engaged, focused and patient mother. The art of an author and creator. I have taken real and meaningful steps to recover my artistry. What I discovered is that I’d put my inner artist into a deep, concrete cell and soundproofed it very well. I couldn’t hear her cries as she bloodied the walls attempting to claw her way out, losing her fingertips in the process. Letting her out, healing her, has been the best thing I could have done.
News about that is embargoed and I can’t talk about it yet. Soon, my pretty. Soon.
As for that Other Thing —
Brutal Pixie is officially a thing of the past. Almost all of its digital assets will be destroyed. You’ll find me dancing around the outside of that fire in ecstatic celebration. I say ‘almost’ because some of the tools I’d built I decided to keep. You’ll find ‘em over at Gumroad.
You are among the first to hear this momentous news.
The company will take my name. Its services pared right down to the things that spark joy (which is what Leticia means, did you know?). You’ll find that detail at https://biodagar.com/services. Until the website is moved to leticiamooney.com, anyway.
In all of this mix is this darling Letter.
It has become a two-parter: This, the email/online version. And this, the printed-and-in-real-life version. The content is the same, but the latter is much nicer. (My opinion; I adore real mail on real paper, sent with care.) It carries a fee but only to cover printing and postage.
While I’m at the beginning of what promises to be a massive job—unearthing, updating, rebranding, deleting—and while I’ve yet to get the official paperwork ahead of the administrivia, I’m excited.
I’m excited because what I’ve stumbled into is the coherence that I’ve been seeking for years uncountable. How amusing that it took time deep in artist recovery to find it.
xx Leticia ‘no longer Her Pixieness’ Mooney